Joy Ray

Travoltas Mutter, and other mysteries

Being in a blogging frame of mind today, I would like to share my favorite chapter in a German textbook I once used.  It addresses, of course, the mysteries of John Travolta.  Note the Pynchonesque symbology utilized on the cover page.  What are we to make of this?

 

This is followed by an equally intriguing diagram that seems to outline some kind of clandestine cabal led by Travolta's mother, involving Reagan, Superman, Germany and Englewood New Jersey.  This can't be good!

 

Finally, a selection of doubtlessly coded phrases are provided, which if spoken in a precise order may persuade Travolta to share his hard-won secrets.

(Thanks to Mark Case, for mentioning "John Travolta" and "book" in the same Facebook post today and reminding me of this cherished tome.)

Where's the dignity?

I just got my new passport - my first since 2000.  As happy as I am to have a new passport, and to be able to travel, all I can say is: the design is really embarrassing.

The outside, at least, still looks (more or less) the same. But inside is a kitchy klown kar of Americana: flags and eagles, monuments and pseudo-inspiring quotations reflecting a diversity so agonizingly precise that you know the selection process took months and dozens of meetings to finalize.  It's like a patriotic checkbook on steroids.

I liked my old passport.  Simple, plain, down to business.  Not a scrapbook.  Not a brochure.  Not an advertisement.  It was where stamps and visas went.  Now I find it hard to believe that stamps and visas will even be visible against all the background clutter.

Is this supposed to remind us as we venture abroad, how totally awesome the USA is?  Is it supposed to inspire us to live up to our true and exceptional American selves?  Are we supposed to whip it out at our next overseas dinner party, to dazzle foreign friends with our wicked cool bison and eagles?

 

The mind boggles.

an explanation, of sorts

I'm not sure why I haven't posted anything in awhile. 

I have some ideas for posts. 

For instance, stories behind various songs I've written and recorded, especially those of the (IMHO) under-appreciated Sissy Bar, which tend to have underpinnings both strange and specific. 

Or how to fly first class most of the time, for cheap or free (one of my obsessions...let me tell you, I really identified with Up in the Air). 

Or some thoughts about recent reading material - for purposes best left unsaid, at least for now, I've been reading books about women uncovering family mysteries, and have found that some (The Forgotten Garden) are better than others (Sarah's Key) while some (The Lost Hours) are just a few ticks north of terrible.  

But...no posts as of yet.  So there we are.

Chase the robots?

Is it just me or is anyone else kinda creeped out by Chase's California ad campaign?

I mean, as a former WaMu customer, they seem to be doing a pretty good job of handling the transition.  (Apart, that is, from baiting consumers into low-interest loans and then jacking the rates up.)  But my bank account still works.  I can, like, write checks and deposit checks and stuff like that.

But seriously, they seem to have taken Minority Report as their ad inspiration.  "I've got it.  Take classic California imagery, turn it robotic blue, and replace the SUN with our LOGO!"

 

Is it really possible to read this tagline as anything other than a threat, probably from a different species?

WE'RE HERE FOR YOU, CALIFORNIANS.  EVEN YOUR BIKES AND BOATS CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW.  THE GREAT BLUE EYE OF CHASE IS WATCHING YOU, FOREVER.

 

Or consider these stills from a Chase commercial, casually using a Beatles song as if to say, yeah, we're freakin' RICH, man.  Succumb.  In the brave new world of Chase, we Earthlings are forced to live dreary lives of monotone isolation, drinking bad coffee with other unemployed people at a blue-collar diner, driving for days through unpaved desert landscapes, warmed only by the eery light of the blue Chase octagon.

 

 

 

Okay, already, you win.  I'm scared.  Now can I close my checking account?

Waiting for fire

There were rumors flying around town yesterday that the fire was coming.  Someone in town was trying to sign people up for home flame retardant protection, saying that fire was expected here in 36 hours.  The fire captain shot down that rumor.  (Hey - it's a recession!  Guy's got to make a living!)  A shopkeeper said the sheriff had told her an evacuation order would probably come through in the next day or two.  Well, it's a small town.  Rumors are practically legal tender here.

 

Luckily we have friends in high-information places who told us nothing like that was in the works.  YET. Still, they said, the fire had moved from Glendale to Juniper Hills in the course of a few days -- so the idea of it reaching us in Wrightwood was not totally unrealistic.  I looked on the California fire map and saw that indeed, the biggest group of devilish-looking flames was the one headed straight for us, with nothing in its way except a near-empty and tinderstick-dry National Forest.

So after enjoying a perfectly-cooked Porterhouse steak (thanks Jay!), I thought it might behoove us to pack up a few things.  Sort of a pre-evacuation maneuver.  I got out some old empty boxes and put them on the living room floor, then walked around trying to figure out what to take with us.

Right before we left Argentina, I had a dream that we came home and our house had burned down.  I walked around the neighborhood, fresh from the airport, still dragging my rolling bag behind me.  The homes were nothing more than still-smoldering charcoal.  The firefighter who was showing me around was apologetic,  But, in my dream, I was relieved.  I had everything I needed: Jay, our dog, my laptop, my favorite clothes.  The rest was just...stuff.  I thought this was a metaphor.  What if it was prophecy?

We're currently a one-car family, with a lone Honda Element to carry two people and a dog.  We'd have room for a few boxes but not much more.  I picked up a few things to take with us.  The ashes of our old dog Dewayne.  Photo albums.  My mom's wedding china from the 60s.  A photo of my Silverlake kickball team which featured Vince Vaughn and Noah Wyle before they were famous.  Tax documents.  Paintings.  Scanning shelves, opening cupboards, looking for items that fell within the perfect nexus of Portability, Necessity, Irreplaceability, Sentimental Value and Monetary Value.  The nice lawn furniture, the flat-screen TV, books and movies and skis and knick-knacks, a giant ceramic Hello Kitty, all of these would have to stay and take their chances with the fire.  Would our Vespa have a better chance of making it if we parked it inside the house?  Or could we somehow manage to drive it to...wherever we would go?  We looked up dog-friendly hotels in San Diego, away from the smoke.  We called friends with vacation homes in Palm Springs. 

This morning things seem more hopeful, at least in our location.  Someone posted on our local message board, "The fire looks like it's really laying down this morning. It doesn't look like it made it across Littlerock drainage, and it's lightly raining here now...Today looks like a good day for fire fighters."

Let's hope so.

Oh my.

Who needs Halloween II when you have this?

Addicted to stats

One of my favorite things about TypePad is that I can see where people are coming from when they visit my blog.  This is endlessly fascinating to me.

For instance today I saw on my stats that I got this visit:

I then can click on the link (right column) and it takes me to the page the person actually saw, namely:

So searching for "buenos aires graffiti" somehow got a complete stranger to one of my blog posts.

Beyond that, the post really does have a picture of buenos aires graffiti - and it's a pretty entertaining one. 

Cool.

Leonard Cohen at Nokia Live

Last night we went to see Leonard Cohen play at the Nokia Live Theater in downtown LA. 

FIRST: go get tickets to any show you can. 

He hasn't played in 15 years, he's in his 70s, and this is definitely one of the top 5 shows I've ever seen (if not the best).  Both Jay and I got choked up on more than one occasion, although I suppose that's not really very hard since we're big softies.  We are seriously considering flying to Minneapolis for his show on May 3rd!  Of course, Berlin on July 2 would be the big dream....("then we take - Berlin!")

A few other random thoughts:

1. He seems to have cribbed some aspects of his show from tango, although thankfully this influence stops at the visual.  Compare this photo of him performing with a typical scene of tango musicians:

2. The Nokia Live theater is surprisingly nice, although the outside decor is disturbingly Blade Runner-esque.  We got there early and stopped in at Fleming's Steakhouse.  At this location, they have a daily happy hour until 7PM, with several choices of wine, cocktails and appetizers for $6 each.  We'd come back just for this, except for the fact that parking is $20+.  Well, next time there's a good show.  (Avenged Sevenfold perhaps, or Yanni?  Well hopefully the Nokia's booking choices will improve....)

3. Leonard Cohen fans are very chatty!  And excited!  And even the very old ones are surprisingly stylish, wearing chic little hats and things.  They refer to him as "Lennie" as if they know him personally.  It is a very nice warm crowd.  I wish I could just take them all home with me.

4. I'm not a big fan of female back-up singers but his were PHENOMENAL.  One of them, so he said, is his co-writer and collaborator on several songs.  The other two are sisters who I believe have released their own music.  I wish I knew their names but they don't seem to be posted anywhere easy to find.  The musicians were also fantastic, especially the guy on Spanish guitar.  

Please don't skip this chance to do something nice for yourself.  Go see Lennie.

Back and unbloggy, with a bonus picture

Well we have been back in the US for over 2 weeks now and you may have noticed a, well, noticeable lack of blog posts since then.  It's not that nothing is happening.  In fact I think it's the opposite - we're sort of bedazzled by the pleasure of being back home, as well as some very cool possibilities that may happen in the near future. 

For now, and just because, here is one of my all-time favorite pictures of Johnny Cash:

How often does this happen?

The other day our friend Dave threw his cigarette into the gutter and it landed on its end. 

UPDATE: This is officially now the most popular post to date on this blog, with over 200 views.  Go figure.