Joy Ray

Where's the dignity?

I just got my new passport - my first since 2000.  As happy as I am to have a new passport, and to be able to travel, all I can say is: the design is really embarrassing.

The outside, at least, still looks (more or less) the same. But inside is a kitchy klown kar of Americana: flags and eagles, monuments and pseudo-inspiring quotations reflecting a diversity so agonizingly precise that you know the selection process took months and dozens of meetings to finalize.  It's like a patriotic checkbook on steroids.

I liked my old passport.  Simple, plain, down to business.  Not a scrapbook.  Not a brochure.  Not an advertisement.  It was where stamps and visas went.  Now I find it hard to believe that stamps and visas will even be visible against all the background clutter.

Is this supposed to remind us as we venture abroad, how totally awesome the USA is?  Is it supposed to inspire us to live up to our true and exceptional American selves?  Are we supposed to whip it out at our next overseas dinner party, to dazzle foreign friends with our wicked cool bison and eagles?

 

The mind boggles.

Best of Buenos Aires

Lately I've gotten some requests for recommendations on what to do in Buenos Aires. Here is the list. Go forth and enjoy.

THINGS TO DO

BA Free Tours
Both of these are really good, led by a brother and sister who work for tips. They’re both funny, and it’s a cool way to get a little bit of history and sightseeing in.

San Telmo Market
This is on Sundays. Best if you can go when it’s not too hot as it’s all outside.

La Boca / PROA Museum
This is a cute and touristy neighborhood (also reportedly a lot of pickpockets/crime). Good to go for a bit of sightseeing, plus check out the museum which is really cool.

Recoleta Cemetery is kind of cool as is the Hippodromo (racetrack). The MALBA museum is trendy and has a decent gift shop. I prefer the nearby Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes which has more well-known international artists (plus it’s free).

RESTAURANTS

Vineria de Gualterio
If you’re a foodie, this is the place to go. A prix-fixe molecular gastronomy tasting menu.

Cabana Las Lilas
This place gets slammed for being an overpriced tourist trap. But it has the best steak, bar none, in Buenos Aires. Before or after dinner, make sure to spend a little time walking around Puerto Madero.

Morelia
This place serves thin crust pizza cooked on a grill (alla parrilla), I recommend the Calabrese. Also fantastic gnocchi. Good for a casual dinner, cash only.

Primavera Trujillana
This family-run Peruvian restaurant is located in the Belgrano neighborhood, and is the real deal for ceviche. Order pisco sours and ceviche. Come early (8PM) so they don’t sell out of fish (this has happened to me). Cash only.

Don Julio
This is my favorite steakhouse in Palermo Soho. It’s casual, inexpensive and good.

Bar 6
This is a good place to grab lunch in Palermo Soho. I’m partial to the veggie woks.

GENERAL TIPS

• It’s really hard to get small bills (under 100 pesos) so be strategic with the ones you get. Coins are also in short supply.
• Tip 10% at restaurants, always in cash (even if you pay the check by credit card).
• Avoid restaurants with sushi or any kind of Asian food. They are really mediocre compared to Southern California.
• Eat steak any chance you get! My favorite is the lomo, a punto (basically: filet mignon, medium rare).
• For wine, I prefer a Torrontes (white) or Tannat (red). Generally wines called “Reservas” are better. I find Malbecs really hard to drink but the Cabernets are good (they pronounce it “caber-net”, like a fishing net).
• Spanish is pronounced a little differently in Argentina. Double-L and Y sounds are both pronounced kind of like the “zs” in “Zsa Zsa Gabor”. So instead of “poy-yo” (for pollo/chicken), it sounds like “po-jho”. And “Avenida de Mayo” sounds like “Avenida de Ma-jho”. This will be useful with cabs!

Come on, guys

If you're a guy, and you're on a plane, and an obviously pregnant woman is struggling to hoist her roller bag into an overhead bin, and you're standing right next to her...give her a hand.  It will take you five minutes and you'll look like a hero.  And not a chump.  Especially if you happen to be in a airport in TEXAS, for heaven's sake.

A complaint

When did people in airplanes stop thinking that it was polite to wait for those in the seats ahead of them to deplane first? What's the freakin' RUSH, people?

Things we will NOT miss about Buenos Aires

In an effort to feel better about the fact that we are leaving in a few days, which overall is tragic, we have been trying to think about some things that we look forward to on our return to the US. At the risk of sounding like we had a terrible time, here is a list of things we will be happy to leave behind in Buenos Aires.

1. Lack of air conditioning in restaurants, shops, clubs, taxis, subway cars, and private homes despite the fact that it is 90 degrees in the shade.
2. 30+ minute waits to check out at the supermarket, no matter what you are buying and when.
3. Lack of most pharmacy-type items (e.g. saline solution) at the supermarket.
4. Having to strategize about how to break up the bills you get from the ATM since most stores won’t accept or provide change for them.
5. Impossibility of getting out of any restaurant or café in under 2 hours, no matter what meal you are having, or what time of day or night it is.
6. Needing a key to get in AND out of residential buildings – making it impossible to leave a party at someone’s house without having them let you out.
7. Dog poop everywhere on sidewalks.
8. Professional dog walkers taking over parks with dozens of dogs on weekdays, making it hard to walk our own dog.
9. People walking veeeeeeery slowly on sidewalks, side-by-side, so you cannot pass.
10. Lack of low-calorie beer.
11. Difficulty in obtaining ice, either at a store or a restaurant/bar.
12. Taxicabs, which, while quite affordable, tend to break down, smell disgusting, lack air conditioning, have obnoxiously loud music or talk radio playing, have faulty meters, and/or be driven like you are on some kind of low-budget roller coaster ride.
13. Lack of spicy food or even pepper on the table at restaurants.
14. Difficulty in finding vegetables other than “salad.”
15. Construction going on everywhere!
16. Lack of good cheese.
17. Sushi restaurants that only serve salmon.

Example: salmon-only sushi platter.

Never fear, however: next we'll do a list of things that we WILL miss!

UPDATE: The suggestions keep coming in! Here, a few more:

• Lack of good condiments. If you are coming for any extended amount of time, Jay strongly recommends bringing your own ketchup, mustard, hot sauce, etc. as the local versions taste a little "off".
• Kirsten submits a correlary: Salsa Golf. This is almost as ubiquitous here as chimmichurri sauce, and is essentially a sweeter, smoother version of Thousand Island dressing. Not so good.
• People who stare at you, often with a very pissed off look. Jay sometimes calls the city "Buenos Stare-s." Must be the Italian influence...

Not dead, just hot

Countdown to leaving

In just over a week, we'll be going back home.  Our feelings about that are mixed, as I'm sure you might guess.  Our days are also increasingly busy, so I probably won't be posting much (if at all) until we're home again.

For instance, we have been working on getting our hairy dog-child Johnny Cash approved to go back to the US.  Yesterday we had to get a health certificate from a vet.  Wednesday, we'll be paying a visit to a big government office near the port, to get his official travel documents.  Hopefully there won't be any problems with this...

Our friends David and Kirsten have also been visiting, which has been fantastic -- a perfect excuse to do a "Buenos Aires Greatest Hits Tour" (namely, re-experience our favorite restaurants such as Vineria de Gualterio, Cabana Las Lilas, Morelia, Primavera Trujillana and Ceviche). 

 

We need to get in some last-minute love with our friends who live here: Christian and Frauke, Dave and Sofi.  And find time for all the things we meant to do in Buenos Aires but somehow haven't yet done.

 

And did I mention I was here to finish my novel?  Still working on that....!

One note: I realized this week that I have been consistently misspelling the word "parrilla" (steakhouse) as "parilla" (which still looks more 'correct' to me, but oh well).  Sorry, Argentines, for butchering your language.  As well as your meat.

Scenes from San Telmo

And now some photos from the weekly San Telmo street fair, where every Sunday you can find things that are old, new, delicious, distasteful, and just plain weird.

 

 

  

  

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The lady above deserves a special mention.  With her plastic kazoo she managed to sound exactly like Duke Ellington.  If she noticed you taking her picture or a video, she would smoothly cover up her face with a paddle reading "Show me the money!"  And never miss a note.

 

When it's hot and crowded, there is perhaps no more important concept than that of Taking Breaks. Which we did, at a lovely little French bistro named Chez (located at Defensa 1000).  It's not in the guidebooks yet, but should be.

Vineria de Gualterio: 9 is the magic number

Vineria de Gualterio isn't just a restaurant, it's an experience.  There are only a handful of tables in this tiny restaurant in the San Telmo neighborhood of Buenos Aires, and only one thing you can order (a 9-course tasting menu for 130 pesos).  Dinner starts between 9 and 10pm and lasts 3 hours; your service is more personalized if you show up earlier before it gets crowded.  The small size makes it feel like your really awesome chef friend is cooking dinner just for you and a few other friends.

Here are the 9 courses we had:

Course 1: Various appetizers 
These came with strict instructions to eat them from left to right, with one bite each.  The first was a cracker sort of thing filled with a hot gravy.  The second was a crunchy ball filled with melted hot cheese.  The third was an apple slice with caramel slabs poked into it.  The fourth was a tomato "ravioli".  The fifth was foie gras.  They were really fun to eat.

Course 2: Salad with 30 items
This salad was delicious if somewhat bitter (due to the dressing), with 30-odd different cooked and raw things in it including flowers.  Quite large and nutritious.

Course 3: 50-minute egg
This was a perfectly soft-boiled egg but it was cooked for nearly an hour at a very low temperature.  Served with a cheese foam and lamb broth.  Heaven, heaven, heaven.

Course 4: Surf and turf.
Okay, they called it the more elegant "mar y montana".  Whatever you call it, it was delicious.  Tiny scallops that packed as much flavor as larger ones typically do, plus perfectly-cooked lamb.  This, along with the egg, was the highlight for me.

Course 5: Octopus
This was the only one that I didn't love.  Chewy octopus with tomato foam on top.  At least I tried it.  Jay finished it.

Course 6: Salmon in broth
The salmon was cooked so as to be raw in the middle (like sushi) and seared on the outside; it was delicious.  The broth was also good if a little mild. I was very excited that I guessed its ingredients correctly based on the waiter's hint of "A fruit, a root and a vegetable" (melon, celery and ginger).

Course 7: Suckling pig with warm peaches
This, I believe, is an example of the chef customizing a dish for us based on the fact that I don't like mushrooms, as other tables had a big pile of mushrooms on this plate.  Not us.  (He asked us at the beginning of the meal if there were things we were allergic to, or wouldn't eat for various reasons.)  The pig was perfectly cooked and the peaches delish.

Course 8: Beef with french fries
This was a really fun dish, especially given that "bife con papas fritas" is a staple of most Argentine restaurants.  The beef did not seem like the best cut of meat, but was cooked nicely.  It had a chimichurri foam on top, which is the most delicious way I've ever had that flavor (also typical here, but usually a little salsa you put on your meat).  The "french fries" were a potato foam in a potato chip cup, also very fun.  Unfortunately by this time I was too full to really enjoy the dish!

Course 9: Dessert
This had another foam, this time of goat cheese.  Plus a chocolate mousse and a sort of biscotti-tasting soft cake.  Plus various things like nuts and caramel to mix in.

We also had the "wine flight," where the waiter brought us a glass of wine paired to each course.  That ended up more than doubling our bill (eek).  Our final tally was 600 pesos, or $200 US.  Not cheap but definitely worth it for the experience.  If you go, be sure to make reservations in advance because of the size, and don't dress up too much (e.g. jeans and nice shirt is fine).

(Vineria de Gualterio Bolivar is located at Bolivar 865, between Independencia and Estados Unidos.)

A day in the country, Argentina-style

The other day we got to spend a day at the country house that belongs to the family of our friend Sofi.  It's located near the main airport here, but you'd never know it. 

Here is part of the amazingly lush yard:

We knew instantly this was going to be a great day.

Cash made himself right at home.

So did Jay and I, in the pool.

Here's Dave, kicking it in the sun.



We had a very nice asado for lunch, cooked by a man who operates a grill nearby.



Cash befriended the next-door-neighbor's dog.



And then proceeded to nearly pull the entire lunch off the table.



The only bummer was that despite Cash's love of water, we couldn't get him to swim in the pool. Not for lack of trying!

So Sofi did the next best thing and hosed the dogs off.

Bonus shot of Guri, Sofi's family's dog, in the car.  I never knew a golden retriever could fit into such a small space!